Jax Taylor “could probably buy a house” with the money he blew on drugs and he is “sickened” about what he wasted on his 20-year habit.
Jax Taylor “could probably buy a house” with the money he blew on drugs.
The ‘Vanderpump Rules’ star recently revealed he has been battling a cocaine addiction for more than 20 years but is now more than 100 days sober and finds it “sickening” how much he squandered on his habit.
He told Us Weekly magazine: “I could probably buy a house for the amount of money I’ve spent on drugs. It’s sickening to me. My parents did not raise this kind of person.”
Jax recalled hitting rock bottom when he split from wife Brittany Cartwright – with whom he has three-year-old son Cruz – early last year, leading him to take “enough cocaine to kill a small horse”.
He said: “I was in my house by myself for months. I wasn’t eating. I was drinking and doing enough cocaine to kill a small horse. I went on a full-on tear. I was so depressed. I felt like I lost everything. The devil on my shoulder was louder than that angel on my shoulder.”
The 44-year-old star credited his son for giving him a reason to live and hopes to make Cruz “proud” of him one day.
He said: “I grew up like a lot of guys — we don’t talk about our feelings. I’m going to break that cycle. I want my son to talk about whatever he wants to talk about. Let’s be open. It’s OK not to be OK.
“I just couldn’t take the weight anymore. The pressure. I don’t want my son to feel like that. I want him to be open and honest. I will never judge him at all. I’ll be his biggest cheerleader.
“I solely believe that I’m only here right now because of him. He’s the light of my life, my everything, my angel, my heartbeat. Everything I do is for him.
“He’s the reason I went to rehab. I want to be here for him the rest of my life.
“I want him to go, my dad had a problem, he confronted it, he was open about it. If he can be proud of me for that, that would be amazing.”
Jax believes he is a different person now and while he’s worried people won’t “accept” the way he is, he felt he had to change or “die”.
He said: “I’ve always been the lead singer of the band. I’m taking a backseat. I’ve become the guy who plays the triangle.
“It’s hard because I’m so used to being Jax Taylor, this alpha male, but that guy doesn’t exist anymore. He can’t, or he is going to die…
“I’m nervous people are not going to accept this laid-back person.
“We all know I’ll never be fully laid-back — it’s not my DNA. But the old me is not there.
“I’m exhausted from the arguing, the conniving, the lying. I’m surrendering, and if you don’t like me, fine.
“But I’m hoping people can watch it and be like, it’s about f****** time.”
Jax Taylor regrets blowing so much money on drugs
