Opening up about his partying days, actor Charlie Sheen has admitted he still feels “shame shivers” over his turbulent past.
Charlie Sheen feels “shame shivers” over his turbulent past.
The actor, 59, is celebrating eight years without drugs or alcohol, and has now given a frank interview about his partying days.
Charlie told People magazine about the difficulty of forgiving himself: “Forgiveness is still an evolving thing. I still get what I call the ‘shame shivers.’
“These are the moments that hit me, of the heinous memories and choices and consequences.
“They’re getting farther in between, so I guess that’s progress.
“What has been interesting about making amends is that most people have been like, ‘Hey yeah, we’re good man, but we hope you’ve also forgiven yourself.’”
Charlie rose to fame with roles in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Platoon before becoming one of TV’s highest paid stars in his leading role on Two and a Half Men, while enduring years of public scandals and drug use.
In the 1990s he testified that he paid more than $50,000 to call girls employed by “Hollywood Madam” Heidi Fleiss.
And in 2005, during divorce proceedings from his second wife, Denise Richards, she accused him of making death threats, shoving her and endangering their children.
In 2010 he was reportedly ejected from New York’s Plaza Hotel after trashing a room while using cocaine.
Charlie added to People he has no desire to return to substance use, saying: “Whether it’s true or not, I like to think the next hit would kill me.”
His forthcoming memoir, The Book of Sheen, recounts his use of crack, heroin and testosterone cream, which he said made him a “raving lunatic”.
He recalled: “At my parties, I always said: ‘Park your judgement at the door. No pain in the bedroom. And no one can die’.
“Those were good rules.”
Charlie said his hedonism was fuelled by fear of losing fame.
He added: “There was always that voice of doubt that it was only a matter of time before it all went away, so to enjoy it as heartily as you can.”
Charlie has four children – daughters Sami, 21, and Lola, 20, with Denise, and twin sons Max and Bob, 16, with Brooke Mueller, his third wife.
Denise temporarily cared for the twins in 2013 after authorities removed them from Brooke due to substance abuse.
The actress and Charlie divorced in 2006 but continued to clash.
She accused him of threatening her in 2013, saying: “I am going to sever your head and mail it to your father.”
But by 2017 the pair appeared to reconcile, taking their children to a Twenty One Pilots concert.
More recently, they disagreed over Sami’s decision to join OnlyFans.
While Charlie criticised the move, Denise supported her daughter and joined the platform herself.
Charlie said his decision to stop drinking and using drugs was shaped by fatherhood.
He said: “I keep a (mental list) of the worst, most shameful things I’ve done, and I can look at that in my head if I feel like having a drink. ”
His memoir release will be followed by a Netflix special on his life on Wednesday (03.09.25.)
He said: “I’m not calling all of this a comeback. I’m calling it a reset. I’m just living for the next moment, whatever that turns out to be.”
Charlie Sheen feels ‘shame shivers’ over his party days
