The X Files star Gillian Anderson has declared she wants to be “looked at adoringly for who I am” – insisting she wants her partner to desire the real her instead of a “perfect version”.
Gillian Anderson wants her partner to desire the real her instead of a “perfect version”.
The X Files star spoke about her own desires in a candid interview on Davina McCall’s Begin Again podcast, praising women for sending in their personal letters and stories for her book Want and Gillian insisted talking about sex often opens up a much bigger conversation.
She explained: “I think what was remarkable about the book and the conversation that it’s started, was because of the courage of the women who submitted the letters.
“The bigger light bulb is: ‘If I’m not able to ask for what I want of the person I’ve been married to for 25 years, does that have any link to why I’m not able to ask for what I want in the work that I do?
“And the raise that I’ve been thinking about asking for? Or actually to assume that I might be talented at this other thing that I haven’t gone after because I’ve been kind of wrapped up’ …
“I didn’t expect the reaction that we’ve had and I didn’t expect that these were the types of conversations that we’d be having. I’ve had women come up to me and say: ‘This has changed my life’. And at the end of the day we’re talking about courage really.”
She went on to add that a lot of the writing seemed to be about being “seen” and she opened up about how she wants to be looked at by her partner.
Gillian – who is in a relationship with screenwriter Peter Morgan – added: “There’s a lot of really, really touching writing in here and real touching honesty and part of that too which really moves me, was women writing about being seen.
“Yes there’s a version of a fantasy where even in my mind I look a certain way and I’m imagining that they are desiring me as that way, but actually the thing that I really want is to be looked at adoringly for who I am, and how I look and for that to be the thing that my partner is desiring – not the perfect version of it, but actually you.”
Gillian Anderson wants to be ‘looked at adoringly for who I am’
