Kate Beckinsale found saying goodbye to her late mother, Judy Loe, “the hardest thing” she has ever done.
Kate Beckinsale found saying goodbye to her mother “the hardest thing” she has ever done.
The 51-year-old actress’ mom Judy Loe passed away in July after battling stage four cancer, and the Shooting Fish actress has taken to Instagram to share photos from the “celebration of life” she organised in honour of her beloved parent and praised the outpouring of love shown on the day.
Kate – who has 26-year-old daughter Lily with former partner Michael Sheen – wrote on Instagram: “Dearest Mama, The fact that you have had to have a funeral at all is wrong and ludicrous . You are the biggest lover of life, the most energetic, the most vital , the most joyous.
“The only mandate you gave me over the years was that you wanted a celebration of your life and that no one was to wear black so no one did.
“What I did not anticipate, particularly the night before the funeral where I got two hours sleep on a hard sofa and very much considered not being able to attend because I was afraid I couldn’t handle it ,was that someone would be able to have a funeral that was so full of love and happiness and joy, which is all because of you and who you are and what you brought.
“You are a bridge builder, a hoarder of love, an archiver of precious history ,of respect for years of friendship and my God that showed..
“I think the hardest thing I have ever had to do was say goodbye to you and I haven’t managed it yet, I still reach for my phone in the early hours of the morning to text you and then realise that I won’t get a response.
“The funeral and the party which I will not call a wake afterwards,and which I very much feel you attended in some vaporous way blew the f****** roof off Chiswick House. Everybody danced -from the age of 3 to their mid 80s. Your school friends attended, my school friends attended, Lily‘s school friends attended. The love you inspired ,quietly and generously was awe-inspiring and still is.
“I will never get over the lump of cement in my stomach that I have instead of you. Hopefully, I will learn to carry it better than I am currently carrying it which is clumsily and not well.
“But what you left me was a coterie of extraordinarily brilliant people who, if and when I am ever up to it, I know will provide me a soft place to land.
“At the moment I am so blindsided and devastated that it is safer for me to be on my own but I know from your funeral that the relationships you nurtured so carefully over the years are there for me too and that is another part of your generosity that will live on.
“I love you, Mama. You are in my blood. You are in my bones ,you are in my heart ,broken or not you are there. I love you so much.”
Kate previously announced her mom’s death in Instagram and admitted she was “paralysed” by her loss.
She wrote on Instagram: “I don’t want to post this. I am only posting this because I have had to register my mother‘s death certificate and it will soon become public record.
“She died the night of July 15th in my arms after immeasurable suffering. I have not picked all the best photos, nor the best videos, because I cannot bear to go through my camera roll yet.
“I deeply apologise to any of her friends who are finding out this way or through the press, but I cannot go through her phone. I am paralysed.”
Kate Beckinsale shares moments from late mother’s celebration of life
